For more than 25 years, Roots of Empathy founder Mary Gordon has been helping us see the power of empathy as a foundational skill for all children, and by extension, all adults.
Mary is an educator, author, child advocate, parenting expert, and founder of Roots of Empathy, a Toronto-based organization with a global reach. She is also an Ashoka Fellow of 20 years — one of the first Canadian social entrepreneurs to be named a Fellow, back in 2001!
Konstanze Frischen, Ashoka’s North America leader, spoke with Mary this week about empathy in the pandemic, what young children are feeling right now (by their accounts), and the pandemic’s enduring effects on families and children. You can watch the full conversation here (35 minutes). Read a few highlights in this article:
Empathy is caught, not taught
We’re all predisposed to empathy and can strengthen it throughout life. But there is a critical window: the first year of life. A baby develops empathy by how it is responded to, cared for, loved. Empathy is constructed in the brain, not instructed through formal learning.
Home is where the start is
Parents are their child’s first teachers of emotional literacy. And showing vulnerability is showing strength — it opens space for a special kind of trust and invites children to share how they are feeling.
Forget math class — climbing trees might be more important
Should parents be worried about academic losses? No, says Mary. The focus should be on the child’s safety and wellbeing now. Climbing a tree might be more important than math class right now.
Create safe spaces
What are children saying about how they feel right now? Mary reports from a Roots of Empathy classroom in a Washington, DC, neighborhood that has experienced significant loss in the pandemic. Now more than ever children need classrooms (even virtual) and teachers that acknowledge their feelings as real and valid — without trying to fix things. This opens opportunities for connection and empathy (the antidotes to fear and anxiety).
Measure what you treasure
How children feel has everything to do with how they learn. Are they grieving a loss? Are they worried, anxious, isolated? In the pandemic, just doing more is unhelpful — “if you’re in a hole, stop digging!” Here’s Mary on why school grades are the wrong measuring stick right now.
Trust children — they are capable!
Instruction as we know it too often limits what children can think and do. Children have an enormous capacity to synthesize their experiences, what they are feeling, and come up with a more creative set of responses.
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The full conversation is here. Explore these links and resources below from Mary and Roots of Empathy:
ROE Children’s Gallery: https://rootsofempathy.org/childrens-gallery-introduction/
ROE Recordings of our 2021 Virtual Research Symposium: https://rootsofempathy.org/2021-symposium/
And finally, you can follow Mary and Roots of Empathy on Twitter: @MaryGordonROE @RootsofEmpathy
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Another Roots of Empathy classroom! Another baby/teacher working her magic — helping older children “catch” empathy, a skill we all need to master to be caring humans of all ages, and effective collaborators and problem solvers in a world defined by constant change.
Ashoka’s Welcome Change is our weekly series with the world’s social entrepreneurs on what works, and what’s next. All topics, all time zones, every Wednesday. Browse the series here.
